I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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