Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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