marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
