scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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