the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
