u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
