people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
