You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
