every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
