I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
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Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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