There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
