I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
