It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
