i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The air taste purple.
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