Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
