I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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