You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
