She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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