We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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