I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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