im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
