Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
