I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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