just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
