I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
