So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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