Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
