Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
