Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
