So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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