I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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