Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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