I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
