At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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