It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
