Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
