I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
