My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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