Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's rum buckets o'clock
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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