Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
