Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
