I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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