Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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