Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
