one might say we're banned from that church
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
