dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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