He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Text me some of your sweat
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
