i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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