she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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