He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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