My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You can't special order awesome
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Randomize
