Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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