oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There's even glitter on my cock...
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