Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
