I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
