whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
