I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
