so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize