My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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