Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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